A non-food related post...

So I know I haven't posted anything for a few weeks now. It's not because I've forgotten, it's just been busy here. I thought a lot about not posting what I'm about to post, but I figured it's best to talk things out in any case. Plus I didn't want to talk about it and then go directly into talking about some recipe or something. So, for now it's just me typing...

Faint-- but there. 3 others were darker

About three or four weeks ago, I made a shocking discovery...I was pregnant. I say shocking because Matt and I were in no way trying. In fact we had a plan. And that plan consisted of trying after he got back from his month long trip to California for NTC. We were content with that plan. So for me to be staring down at a positive pregnancy test was a very surreal moment for me--not to mention it was only the second pregnancy test I had ever taken. The first one was the previous month and that was because I was joking around--it was negative in case you were wondering. Matt was at work of course, so I text him some cryptic message about needing to talk to him. He asked if everything was alright and I told him not really. In my mind, looking back, I know I was being really selfish. There are many women in the world who want so badly to have been in my position and yet I wasn't excited. I wasn't happy. At all. I just wasn't ready. I needed a few more months to mentally prepare myself for all of this and you know what, I think it was okay for me to be thinking that way.

I should have realized the "symptoms" ...except I was sick with a cold or allergies or something the week or so before. Matt was actually out in the field that week that I started not feeling good. I was stuffy, super tired, and couldn't really think about eating food without being sick to my stomach. I couldn't even take a sip of wine with dinner without feeling queasy (yea...I know...not cool!) I could swear to you that this was all because of whatever nastiness I had caught. It wasn't. Obviously. So there I was...stuffy, sick, and starting at a positive test. Hmm.

That weekend Matt and I went and bought the What to Expect book. Naturally. And I began furiously educating myself on this whole situation. I started thinking back to our trip to Breckenridge. Matt and I had drank champagne...we had sat in the hot tub which I'm pretty sure was really hot. I had been working out furiously to try to sweat out whatever sickness I had. I know my heart rate at the max had reached above the recommended 140 when you're pregnant...but I later read that there's the theory that every woman is different and that it's okay to go over as long as you aren't breathless and to listen to your body. Okay. So I guess I was good on that part. Plus I've been working out hardcore for a year and a half. My body is used to these strenuous workouts. Then I started obsessing with the foods I was eating and then oh no, I had cleaned the litter box (although I now know through research that I probably am already immune to that toxic stuff that kitties have...I'd be surprised if I wasn't honestly...if you truly know me, you know how many cats I've been around in my life...). All of these things were racing through my head. I'm pretty sure if you looked at my Google history on my computer those following days after the big positive you'd see a lot of pregnancy forums and hundreds of searches. In the end, I feel confident in saying that I am now the most researched out person on the planet. I know everything. I even surprised the Doctors with what I knew. Yea. I know. I'm pretty awesome. So, Matt and I went about our business through the weeks. I was continually tired, but I worked out as much as I could. I stopped going twice a day though. Something about taking 3-4 hour naps during the day because you are so exhausted from even getting out of bed. Definitely missed some classes. Oh well! Matt and I rented a bunch of different movies...I finally saw Austin Powers. haha...after how many years??? Anyway...where am I going with this you may be wondering??

Well on Saturday, September 22nd,  I miscarried. I won't go into any details (do you see why I didn't want to include a recipe after this!). But the very minimum details included some cramping starting on that Thursday. It wasn't bad. Although it was more painful than what I had been having which I knew THOSE type of cramps were normal with early pregnancy. Saturday, however, it was a little more involved and I knew I needed to go to the ER after having called the DR. on Thursday and I was told if it got worse to go in. But then it wasn't hurting anymore. I told Matt we weren't going. So naturally I took a shower (not really naturally but it was something to do); he mowed the yard (I think he was frustrated with my indecisiveness and so I left him alone!) . Then I took a nap with the thought in my mind that I needed to wake up at 3:30 so we could get ready to go watch the A&M game at Rudy's with the Alumni club. THEN I woke up to severe cramping. Worse than the dreaded cramping all women excitedly experience month to month (yea, right). And I knew. I knew I had miscarried at that moment. Again, not going to go into it. For your sake. You're welcome. I just knew. So, I told Matt we needed to go to the ER. For real. We got there at 4:00pm, I was taken back at 4:05pm and from there met with an ER doctor and a bunch of different nurses. Had an IV put in. Was examined. Blood drawn (6 viles!) and of course I hadn't eaten anything at all, soooo I started to feel sweaty and clammy and like I was going to pass out. On top of cramping. Such an exciting time. They did give me Tylenol. Which helped a little. I go for the Advil (but you can't HAVE Advil if you're pregnant), it works so much better for me though personally. Then I was wheeled (I'm 100% sure I could have walked just fine!) into the ultrasound room. And had one of those. I tried to peek, since it was my first ultrasound, but honestly I couldn't see anything. Matt really had a better view and said he saw several pockets which could have been the baby....or several babies?!?! lol yikes! You never really know what you're looking at anyways! But nevertheless the tech made no mention one way or the other. The pictures were then analyzed by the xray people and within five minutes they had the answer. BUT no one would tell me. Anything! I think that's the most frustrating thing about all this. I know the Doctors may not say what they are really thinking because of liability and the possibility of getting sued if let's say they told me I was having a miscarriage and then I went in for more blood work or something and in fact I was still pregnant. I get it. But when the Doctor brought back paperwork from my blood showing me that my hcg levels (the pregnancy hormone) were at 46 and they should have been around 100,000 at the most. I'm not stupid. He tried to tell me that maybe I was within the first week of pregnancy and would need more blood work to see if my levels were doubling like they should. I asked him what the ultrasound showed. His response: Nothing. Nothing? And you're trying to tell me that with ALLLLL of these symptoms I'm having: low hcg levels and NOTHING on the ultrasound...oh and I know for a fact when my LMP (sorry any boys who are reading this...LMP you ask? Google it.) was since I chart it religiously...which should put me at 6 weeks...you're telling me I may be within the first week of pregnancy???...oh okay. Right. So we were released around 9:00pm with information on a Doctor to go to for testing on that coming Tuesday. Tuesday came. Hcg levels: 17. That doctor was interesting. He was naturally impressed with my knowledge that I threw at him and you know what he at least told me the truth which was the numbers weren't pointing towards anything good. Thank you Mr. Doctor for being truthful!  My actual Doctor called that afternoon (she's an Aggie!) and they wanted me to come in to THEM on Friday for MORE blood to make sure my levels got down to 0. So Friday came...more needles, more bruises. Levels: 2. Over the weekend I'm 1000000000000% sure my levels reached 0. Again, not going to go into HOW I know...I just do. Remember? Because I'm awesome?? But I am going in again this Thursday for yet more blood (I'm starting to think vampires are living in the back areas of these places!??!). That's okay though, it'll give my arm time to heal. My right arm from the IV looked hideous! During biceps in body pump I kept looking at it in the mirror and hoping that nobody thought I was doing drugs or something--since I totally look like a druggie and all. But it's much better now!!

And so am I.

I know that I wasn't mentally prepared, but I was trying my best to get there. It was just a little different than what we had been planning, but that was okay. Saturday I was a complete mess. It's a scary situation to go through. Whether you were planning the pregnancy or not. I'm just truthfully happy it happened EARLY in the pregnancy rather than later on. And really, after it all happened I would be lying if I told you I wasn't sad. And that I felt guilty from not wanting it to even be there at first. I know I didn't WILL it out of me, but I still felt guilty like maybe it knew. Somehow. Silly thoughts! But in any case, I know some people will say oh well you were only 6 weeks along. This is true. But it's still a loss. Somewhat. A very small loss. But a loss.

So here we are. I definitely appreciated all the support from those who knew what was going on and especially to my Matt who held my hand through it all...he didn't leave my side once even though he gets wiggly with hospital/medical topics/stuff. I definitely am not writing this to receive pity or any extra attention. If you know me well enough you know I don't really like having attention called to myself. Just sharing an experience that I feel made me stronger and made Matt and I especially stronger as a couple. And I'm sharing it because it's good to share things and get them off your chest. And honestly, I feel much better now. So I appreciate you taking the time to read this and sorry if it was too personal or too much information...but I figured if you're reading this, you most likely care about me enough to read it. :) So thanks!

Anyway, I'll do a foodie type post this week as well..I just wanted to get this out. And after such a serious post, I will leave you with a couple of funny pictures for the heck of it (even though some of you may have already seen these on Facebook....they amuse me)! Enjoy.

MuMu in a blizzard

Me...because I know you love me

Shorts and sandals...jacket and beanie. Classic combo!!

My Matt Matt <3

Two Traveling Tuesdays! :) From the Midwest to the Pacific coast!

I'm sure you have been waiting with baited breath for my next post...haha...yea right! ;-) Well I've definitely been busy with just spending time with Matt (and I've been sick). Since he's had to go into the field so often and then working long hours along with prepping for NTC we've decided to make the most out of our weekends together. So we've been exploring Colorado Springs a lot. Which has been really fun!! One weekend we decided to go to the zoo. And let me tell you...it was THE BEST zoo I've been to so far. Not only was the weather beautiful, but it was a smaller zoo with beautiful landscaping and up close and personal time with the animals. It was fantastic!

When you first walked in you were giving a token to "vote" on an endangered animal that they were going to donate money to and stuff. It was fun reading about all the different animals. I voted for the one with the least tokens because I felt bad. I believe it might have been the vultures? Or maybe it was something else. But nevertheless it was fun. So Matt and I started walking and the first thing we came upon were the giraffes! And you could pet them! I was so excited because I have never experienced that before. You could also buy some lettuce for them, but we just wanted to pet them. They came up to you regardless.


It was really neat. And there even was a baby!! See how small it was?? I felt bad because it just stood there looking dejected. But it was really sweet looking. I couldn't believe how small it was.

Maggies

From the giraffes we moved on through the zoo and saw many animals that reminded us of our own animals. Warthogs=Maggie, Meerkats= Tigger...and I can't remember what we spotted as Millie. :) Maybe a skunk...I don't know! hehe...

Tiggies

The interesting thing was the animals were so close that you could literally touch them if you wanted...of course not the tigers and dangerous animals. But these meerkats you could...although there was a sign that said they'd bite. So...we definitely did not touch them. :)

The most fascinating animals by far were the monkeys and apes. There were two sets of families. One family had a baby! They were so human like. But the funniest thing was one of the males would put his face flat up against the window and the kids would come along and do the same to him. He was so intrigued by this that he would get kind of confused when they walked away. I thought this was so funny!! We were there around feeding time so they were busy at some point eating sweet potatoes and carrots and different veggies.

The baby was really funny too. It would climb up the ropes and when it's daddy came along it would swing and try to touch him as it swung by. This angered the daddy at one point and it made this huge stink and went away, but he came back and the baby was again at it's antics. All of the monkeys were funny really. There were some that were eating and lounging at funny angles. I think Matt and I stayed in there for quite some time--even though it was smelly. :)

Here are some other pictures from our visit:

  

It was a great visit and I can't wait to take my parents there when they visit in October. And as you can see the view is beautiful!!! 

So that week I decided to go with a Midwest themed dinner. It's a recipe that I found which is a classic Chicago dish! It's called Chicken Vesuvio and although I know my father would HATE it (but secretly like it) because of how much garlic there is; I know that my aunt and mom would love it! It was really good and the only thing I'd change about it would have been that Matt would have been home to fully enjoy it. :-/ 

CHICKEN VESUVIO 

Serves 4 (for us 2) 

Ingredients 

4 chicken thighs (about 1 1/4 pounds), skinned*

4 chicken drumsticks (about 1 pound), skinned*

3/4 teaspoon salt, divided 

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 

1 tablespoon olive oil 

12 garlic cloves (YEA...it says 12)

2 large peeled baking potatoes, each cut into 8 wedges 

1 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth 

1/2 cup dry white wine 

3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh oregano 

2 garlic cloves, minced 

1 cup frozen green peas

*Note: I used chicken breasts because I had them. 

First preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Sprinkle your chicken with 1/4 teaspoon (out of the 3/4 teaspoon) of salt and pepper and pour the oil into a dutch oven (or in my case a big pot...because I don't have a dutch oven). Heat the oil over medium high heat and add your chicken.  

Brown your chicken on each side. Getting a good crust on the chicken is important to seal in those juices later! Once brown, remove it from the pan/pot/whatever you're using.





Add your whole garlic cloves to the pot, saute them for about a minute or so. Until they are slightly browned.  And remove them.







Then add your wedged potatoes to the pot. Saute them for about 6 minutes or until browned. And once this has happened, add your chicken and garlic cloves back into the pot. Add the rest of the salt, your broth, white wine, fresh oregano, and the two minced garlic cloves (MORE GARLIC for my auntie!!). Bring all of this to a simmer.




Once at a simmer, cover and bake if you are using a Dutch oven. In my case I put everything into some Corningware. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes, or until the chicken is done and the potatoes are tender. At this point, add your frozen peas and bake for another 8 minutes or until the peas are tender.



I don't have a picture of the 100% finished product, but let me tell you. The chicken was so juicy and moist and the smell that went throughout the house was lovely! You can't beat the smell of garlic! :) It was extremely tasty and although the original recipe with the thighs and drumsticks was 448 calories per serving; I think this is worth it and I believe my version is probably less calories anyways. I only ate half of a chicken breast and about a half cup of the potato mixture. I can't say enough about it. I think this recipe with the chicken breasts would be great for company! It tastes fancy, but as you can see it's super easy! I really hope you try it! I served it only with a salad since the potatoes were the starch of the meal.

Here's the recipe: Chicken Vesuvio

So the week of Labor Day weekend was exciting. Mainly because I was looking forward to spending
four uninterrupted days with Matt!! Thursday night we decided to go "downtown" which turned out to be a bust because the place we went was doing some sort of samba night. Or something. And there was about 4 people there. Probably more, but you get my drift. So we walked around a bit then went home.

Friday we ended up randomly going hiking! It was College Colors day so of course we had to wear Aggie shirts. Needless to say, Jeni was wearing a cute Aggie Gamma Phi shirt, khaki shorts, hair down....and there we were hiking. :) It was so much fun though. The views were beautiful! We could see the Garden of the Gods from where we were; which is always pretty to look at.

There were a lot of fun trails and we saw a lot of dogs being walked, which we joked about bringing Maggie...who can't walk more than 1/2 mile without getting tired. She's in shape! But she's a bulldog. :)

Baby Cactus!

I believe we walked for almost two hours. We saw people climbing the rock walls, people biking. All sorts of activity, yet surprisingly we were alone walking most of the time and it was really peaceful!






After that we headed over to this castle over near Garden of the Gods. It's modeled Tudor style...which as we all know, I LOVE! It was a gorgeous place! They do afternoon teas and I want to check that out for a girls day with my mom!!




Saturday we wanted to go up Pike's Peak on the Cog Railway. We called. All booked. Of course. Oh well. So we sat there wondering what we could do that day and little to my knowledge my sneaky Matt was planning something! He booked a room in BRECKENRIDGE! I was really uneasy at first because we'd have to leave the animals for the night, but we've done that before and it was fine. So I got excited and we packed up!

The drive there was beautiful! Especially through the winding Manitou Springs area and through some small towns. We hit a sort of plains/valley area and then all of a sudden BOOM gorgeous mountains and hillsides. Beautiful trees and then....glorious TEMPERATURES!! Yes...that says 48!! Brrrr!!!! :) I loved it!!

The place where we were originally going to stay UPGRADED us to their other property. Snazzy. I felt like I was a millionaire or something. It was a gorgeous property. Even without the snow! There was turn down service and lots of fancy directions for the property. The room though was delicious! And we took every advantage of everything! We used the fireplace, drank champagne, viewed the outdoor area on the patio. We went to the outdoor hot tub and gazed at the moon and the stars. It was great!! Later on we went around the town. There weren't a lot of people around so it was kind of like our own town! I would LOVE to go back. We may have to wait until after snow season though. Bummer.  Here are some pictures from the scenery and the room:

It was a lot of fun and we kind of wrote it off as our 2 year anniversary trip since Matt won't be here for that. :( Sad day.

Sunday we drove back a different way. This was unfortunate for my ears. I have very sensitive ears and now know that if we go back, I need to get my trusty Ear Planes :) It wasn't bad going there because we were going slower and not up into the mountains fast. On the way down it was 70 and we were descending pretty quick. Matt was really sweet and was going slower than he should so I would be okay. It was a pretty drive despite the ear problems. But now I know. :) We didn't do much Sunday, just relaxed and well Monday we did the same because I was NOT feeling well at all. I'm not really sure what I have, but all last week I felt really bad. And I still haven't gotten over it really. Monday we lounged though and that was nice to just relax.

For our Tuesday night dinner this week I went with the Pacific/Pacific Northwest type dish and did an Asian inspired Salmon! First of all, it's super easy and quick and the taste is amazing!

SALMON WITH HOISIN GLAZE

Ingredients

2 tablespoons hoisin sauce 
2 teaspoons low-sodium soy sauce 
1/2 teaspoon dark sesame oil 
4 (6-ounce) skinless wild salmon fillets *
Cooking spray 
1 teaspoon sesame seeds 
Lemon rind strips (optional)

*Note: I used two salmon fillets and doubled the sauce for extra sauce and the marinating. 

Combine the first three ingredients into a shallow bowl, whisk together. I added some minced garlic for added flavor as well. Add your fish into the bowl and turn each fillet several times to coat well. Marinate the salmon for at least 8 minutes. I marinated mine for 4 hours! Definitely worth it! 

Once you're ready to cook the fish, preheat the oven to 400, take the fish out of the marinade, and place it on a baking sheet or like me into a shallow Pyrex dish. 


Bake for 8 minutes or until the fish is flaky and reads an internal temperature of 145 to 155. I garnished the fish with the sesame seeds. This is something you don't have to really do. It's a nice touch, but I just happened to have them so I did it. I did not do the lemon rind though. I think lime might be a good touch as well! 




To go with the salmon I made some rice and added sauteed green onions and mushrooms. It was really good!! 







The whole meal was absolutely delicious! I loved the salmon. I had half of one of the fillets and on Thursday I had the other half over a salad. The salmon was 255 calories per serving which included 1 fillet. I really recommend this salmon and I feel myself wanting more salmon with different types of marinades and such. I think it's good to get some fish in your diet every once in a while! I definitely think I'll try it more often now. 

Here's the recipe: Salmon with Hoisin Glaze 

I apologize it's taken me a while to get these two recipes up here, but this weekend was the perfect time for me to do so since Matt is in the field again. I haven't really done anything different than during the week. Except I've been trying my hardest to take it easy since I haven't been feeling well. I went to the usual Saturday tri-fecta  of Les Mills (Body Attack, Pump and CXWORX) and because me not being able to breathe properly and then having something possibly in my chest...well I felt like I was going to die. :) Of course, this also was the day I decided to walk to the gym since it was such a beautiful day...so I crawled home. Not literally. But it was a longer walk home than to the gym! :) Anyway, I hope you have had a great couple of weeks and after tomorrow hopefully things will be a little more calm around here. Until next time!! Take care!! :)